Procrastination Anxiety

Procrastination is just another fancy smancy word for boredom in the my dictionary of late.  I seem to be living in a perpetual state of twiddle my thumbs boredom.

Inspired by my artwork,  with my latest portrait going well; I’m motivated, achieving and diligently beavering away to get it finished.  It seems that if you put a paintbrush in my hand I can play all day…

Get me out of my paint splattered jeans and put me back in the main house and I’m like a zombie –  uninspired, unfocused, and completely under achieving!   The general day-to-day stuff of being a mum and keeping my house tidy… clean…and organised is temporarily OUT OF ORDER.

The chores are piling up.  The dog hair is swirling gently in the hall.

There is stuff and plenty of it waiting to be done but I’ve lost my mojo.  I’ve got the snooze button on and I’m well and truly partaking in some down time.

Boil the kettle, move paperwork, look in the letterbox (does anyone even get letters these days? – I only find bills!)  flick through the junk mail, stuff more ironing into the ironing basket, wander aimlessly around the house and then boil the kettle again.

By the time I’ve done all this a few times, I’m well and truly stuffed and need to sit down with the cup of tea I’ve boiled the kettle for  a few thousand times.

I hate this.  It does my head in.

I like to be busy, I need to be busy but it’s not always the busy that I want to be doing.

Face the ironing mountain – or write?

Strip the beds – or photograph the pretty caterpillar on the front porch?

Clean the bath – or dream about a bathroom renovation whilst on Pinterest?

Pinterest…oh! Pinterest you beast of an app.  You tantalize me with all those pretty homes and rooms and ideas and recipes, with families that seem to have it all worked out and then effortlessly, beautifully blog about how they worked it all out..  Pinterest,  you make it all look so easy and achievable and affordable and then you let me drop me back down to earth.. with a thud.

I clean and I tidy, I potter and I organise…then I go into my studio and paint away, lost in my little Mia’s Art world and when I finally resurface from my art fest …my house is full of different sized people making different sized messes and the clean up  starts all over again.

I know, I know, that’s life.  It’s the choice I have made to have 3 pets and a few kids and a messy husband to boot.  And , you know what?  Usually it doesn’t get to me! I  accepted at long time ago that we are all a little low on the tidy gene and have a creative  ‘attention’ deficiency. I also know that it hasn’t helped that I’ve been feeling a little off colour – lots of lurgy’s lurking around school and I havent exercised for 2 weeks…A big NO NO for the brain cells and general energy levels.

So tomorrow…I have a plan.

I’m going to have a coffee with a girl friend and get really excited about solving the problems of the world , because isn’t that what girlfriends are for?

I’m going to go from that coffee date to another coffee date with another friend, though I will be careful to not caffeine overload cause that just makes me feel jittery and horrendous!  I’m picking up a painting from the second date that needs varnishing.  I’ll show you that in the next few days…

I’m going to come home and walk fur-child…No excuses…and rain is expected!

Then, you know what?  If I don’t feel re-energized and invigorated and ready to tackle the jobs list after all these strategies – I’m going to have a  ‘guilt free’ day off.  I might even have a bath…or a snooze…or both.  I think my problem is  placing too much guilt and condemnation upon myself for not achieving and then getting overwhelmed at where to start and then not doing anything and then feeling guilty again! I call it procrastination anxiety. The more you do it, the worse it becomes. This cycle must stop!

What do you think?  Is this a plan or just another procrastination workout?

I need something, anything,  to reboot my Main house Mojo!!

IF all this fails….You will find me in my studio, paint splattered jeans on, paintbrush in my hand, happy as a pig in mud – even if there is mud back in the main house!

x Mia

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